I don’t care that you got into drugs for three months straight, or how much sleep you lost in that period. I don’t care that you went home and fucked that person and woke up at 6am hating everything about yourself, or that you smoked so much you sounded as though your lungs were giving out.

You’re not a bad person for the ways you tried to kill your sadness.

You’re just human, and being human means you need to survive and you do so whichever way you deem fit, fuck everyone else.

HE. (via flvssison4cid)

I needed this

(via depressed-harmer01)

There’s nothing romantic about laying in bed at 3:15 in the morning, thinking and thinking about what you have actually accomplished in the years you’ve had on the earth. I look back it’s like there’s a pattern, anyone who gets close… Some how bares the toxicness that is me. I have a negative effect on those around me. I’ve accomplished nothing but pain and done nothing but ruined peoples lives momentarily. As I sit here, the lump in my throat appears as I’m gasping for breath, my bloodshot eyes look over too my window. My razors over there, sure it would provide me with relief but it’s not permanent, my eyes drift right a little more and see the anti-depressant tablets. Thank god my mums not careful where she leaves medication, is it really my time now. To finish something I started two years ago. To end the toxicity that is me? But then I think, could I do that to my parents. I’m not talking about my death here, all that’s worrying me is my funeral. Seriously, who actually would turn up? My family, well ‘family’ would all pretend to mourn their fucked up granddaughter/niece. But apart from that i can think of three others that could be there, seriously what a turn out. But surely thats a good thing, I wouldn’t be missed, I wouldn’t be mourned I could finally get rid of the thrashing inside of my head. I always thought some one one day would come along, they would fix me, make me see the world how everyone else does. And someone did, he began opening new doors and making me feel things that I thought only others could. But now he’s gone and it’s my fault, if I wasn’t so messed up maybe we would be still happy, maybe his hand would still wrap around mine, and his lips would still echo the words ‘I love you Melissa, forever’ maybe rather than collapsing on my bedroom floor in absolute agony, I would be collapsing into his arms in absolute bliss. But no, the darkness that is slowly taking over me drove him away, it’s never hurt so bad. Not only is my mind slowly giving up at any chance of me being normal, but my body aches, my stomach feels like I’ve had ten knives pushed into it and my throat is dry and it feels like I’ve been screaming for years. I wish I could escape this, I want to get away from the pain. I want to be normal. I don’t know what is wrong with me… Am I a psychopath?

Help me

Have you ever had a relationship with someone, where you and them are literally like a puzzle. You don’t feel whole unless their by your side. Your fingers fit perfectly, your head gently moulds into their neck, and you fit together perfectly in every single way. You have the worlds greatest sex, not just mediocre, but mind blowing and breath taking sex. You open up, you let them in and they fix you. They slowly uncover your demons and fix you. That’s why I don’t want to give up on you, you made me whole again.